Do you usually make New Year's resolutions?
If it usually works for you and you achieve your goals then well done to you. I mean really well done because most people don’t get that far with theirs.
The majority of resolutions are not fulfilled, typically we over commit, under prepare, and set ourselves up to fail.
It goes like this - you don’t stick to it and then you feel bad, you feel guilty, maybe even angry with yourself and your habits become even worse.
And then the following year the cycle begins again.
I can hear you shouting at the screen now “Ok stop, haven’t I been through enough of a s*** show recently without you starting on me”.
Don’t worry, I’ll stop but I want to show you that it doesn’t have to be like that again in 2022.
I want to encourage you to take a completely different approach – one that is far more achievable, sustainable and relevant to what you really want.
Get yourself a cup of something and read on, this is quite a long one.
When you look to move forward, it's a great idea to first look back and reflect on what has happened (or maybe what hasn’t happened) and this is what I want to encourage you to do – take some time to reflect on 2021, in order to move forward.
Part 1: The Looking Back bit
Coaching is usually pretty much focused on looking at where you are now, planning forward to where you want to be and how you want to feel in life.
Once you work that out, you then look at the ways that you can make changes and make it all happen.
Moving forward is all about planning and strategy and the past can come into that.
I don’t encourage my clients to ruminate and stay in the past, but it does come into play in various ways.
For instance if we are dealing with limiting beliefs that we pick up along the way we look to the past to work out where they came from and we look to move forward with a different perspective.
We can also look to the past to unpick skills and knowledge that we may have forgotten that we have, in order to use those skills in our current lives.
This is particularly true in my work as a midlife coach, things that we used to love doing often fall by the wayside as life gets in the way, our responsibilities take over and we get used to putting everybody else first.
If you used to love doing something and you want to do it again, then make time for it. Put yourself first again, it's not selfish, it's self-preservation.
Reflecting on 2021 – ask yourself this
I would like you to reflect on the past year and ask yourself some questions and complete some sentences – the sort of question that I think is relevant goes something like this, but feel free to make your own:
What went well for you?
What wasn’t so good?
What do you want to keep going with?
What do you want to stop, either for a while or forever?
What was the hardest thing you had to do?
I surprised myself when I…
I couldn’t believe it when I managed to…
I realised this about myself....
If I could change one thing about my personal life, it would be…
Same as above but for work life
I want to feel....
I don't want to feel like.....
There are loads more things you could ask yourself, but you get the picture – I’d love to hear what questions you come up with.